Half-demolished Kitchen of the Soul

Geographically desireable

As you may be aware, a huge snowstorm hit the East Coast. The edge of the storm passed about twenty miles north of here. All we got was cold rain. I can't be shoveling snow yet. I haven't even raked all the leaves.

Death in the family

 

 Kenmore Washer, 1996-2009. Lifelong companion of Kenmore Dryer that passed earlier this year. Three bathroom rugs were too much for its old heart.

Where are you?

Low tolerance

Last night I started watching what looked like it might be an interesting program. Less than a minute in was a scene of a dozen or so children running around a house unattended, yelling, breaking things... 

Click. Sorry, that's not entertainment. It's torture for this childless-by-choice guy. 

Levitation Hotel

 

Finger reeducation

After ten years of typing double zeros in the date, I find myself stumbling when I have to type 2010.

Not a good sign

I was running errands in other parts of town today. First I passed a stretch of industrial buildings with completely empty parking lots. Then, while stopped for a light, I noticed a vacant space that used to be a Christian Science Reading Room. Even religion and literacy are having a tough time.

One reason I love to dive

It's okay, I'm a professional

 

Music Video Monday: Forro in the Dark

It's the idioms, idiot

Last night I dreamed I was teaching an English-as-second-language class. (It's not surprising since I have friends who are doing that in Vietnam.)

It was the first class and I had prepared charts of the various languages that gave birth to English. I explained how those mongrel origins made English a mess to learn.

I asked a question and no one answered. "You're all hear to learn how to speak but no one will say anything? That won't work very well," I chuckled. "I assume you speak at least enough English to be able to find this class and register for it. Yes?"

Silence.

"Some of you want to improve your English or speak it well enough to get a better job, to learn how to read..."

"I want to learn the idioms," said a woman with a Russian accent.

"...and write job related materials or other documents..."

"I want all the idioms."

I wanted to give an apropos idiomatic retort, but my mind was blank. I couldn't even think of an irrelevant idiom. "Um, okay, we'll get to that later."

And then I woke up.

I'm a serial killer

Shortly after I find a Mexican restaurant I really like and become a regular customer, it goes out of business.

As near as I can tell, my beloved Las Islitas is no more. No warning. Not even a note on the door. 

At first I thought they had decided to close on slow nights and concentrate on lunch and weekend traffic. No. My only hope now is that they've closed temporarily because of a death in the family or so they can spend the holidays with kin in Mexico.

Now where am I going to get my authentic ceviche, carne asada and pollo con crema?

Levitation Hotel

 

It never occurred to me

An American Samoa edition of the US quarter? Well, yeah, that makes sense.

So, are there quarters for Puerto Rico, the US Virgin Islands and all the other American outposts that tend to be forgotten?

A quick visit to the US Mint site and... Yes. Puerto Rico, USVI, American Samoa, Guam and the Northern Mariana Islands. And my birthplace, of course, Washington, DC.

What, no Midway Island?

Fuzzy math 2.0

Who says Fox News doesn't do irony? Or is it hypocrisy? Whichever it is, 120% of the people polled agree arithmetic is really hard.

A small poll

(Given the low numbers of visitors this blog gets, any poll would be small.)

When you get into your vehicle, which part of you precedes the other, your head or butt? Include the type of vehicle, because it might make a difference.

Sensational

An item in the local paper was headlined:

Fight breaks out in mall food court

Now, what do you picture? Take a moment... A group of people beating on each other? Overturned tables? Flying food? Fleeing bystanders? Innocent people harmed? Blood? Perhaps gunfire? It must have been a major melee to warrant space in a metropolitan newspaper.

Well, as Paul Harvey used to say, here's the rest of the story:

ROCK HILL, S.C.—A fight broke out Tuesday in the food court of the Galleria Mall in Rock Hill, according to a Rock Hill police report.

A 61-year-old security guard told police he noticed several teens arguing in the food court around 6:40 p.m. When he approached the group, they became "argumentative and used profanity" toward the guard, the report states. One of the teens chest-bumped the guard.

After the confrontation, all the teens fled.

Officers were able to get the names and phone numbers of the suspects from a witness.

That's it. Yelling, cursing and a chest bump. That's not a "fight." It's pathetic newspaper editing. No wonder newspaper readership continues to decline.

My brain goes a wee bit more bad

Earlier this year, for reasons that baffle me (which is easier and easier to do these days), I started typing wants as want's.

I guess a work around is to use desires instead.

It's okay, I'm a professional

 

Now this is a surprise

Democrats are toying with the idea of lowering the age of Medicare eligibility to 55. Not-quite-so-old farts like me could buy into the system early, though a price hasn't been determined yet. I hope it's cheaper than what I'm paying now.

Street stupid

Randolph Road is one of the main arteries here. I use it quite often, yet I keep forgetting its name. When I try to remember, my brain always starts rummaging through the J drawer. Jerome? Joaquin? Jordan?...

Music Video Monday: Eurythmics

Elsewhere

 

Levitation Hotel

 

It's not a too-muh

Last night I dreamed my doctor told me I had a brain tumor. She wanted to get me into counseling right away so I could get help dealing with the possibility of dying.

I told her, "I'm not afraid to die. I'm afraid of suffering and pain."

"Oh."

"And I don't see the point of trying to fight off a life-threatening illness just so I can be around a little longer and die of something else later."

"But..."

"So, I'll tell you what, rather than dump a lot of money and agony into this tumor, let me go find my own Dr. Kevorkian so I can check out before things get ugly. And maybe I'll indulge in some of the self-destructive vices I've avoided so far."

That doesn't mean I'm suicidal or depressed, only that a long life isn't important to me. I wouldn't have wanted to die before I was, say, thirty-five, but everything after that has been gravy. 

Contentment is a higher priority to me than longevity, and I'm mostly content. All the things on my very short bucket list are optional. I won't feel cheated if I never do them, because when it's all over, there will be no "me" to be upset I didn't get all I wanted.